CULTURE CLASH: A child shall challenge her: British singer has competitor

April 23 Norwich Bulletin

Perkins: So, in an effort to keep our fans engaged, let’s have another go at the Culture Clash mash-up. Topic one: Susan Boyle had just started to dissolve out of the headlines when England found her competition, 12-year-old Shaheen Jafargholi. Judges call him a young Stevie Wonder. Why are people surprised spinsters and children can sing? One’s outward appearance has nothing to do with vocal capabilities. I’m over it. Well, I was never into it.

Meo: Here’s why Susan Boyle is news. She’s ugly, and the media are shocked ugly people have talent, although if I hear her sing the first few lines of that same song again, I’ll pull what little hair I have out. I suppose it was inevitable to have her square off against ... well, anyone. The initial reports were made as if she had won the competition and everyone just went home. Leave it to a child to rain on Edith Bunker’s parade. Raining on media trollop Perez Hilton’s parade is some beauty queen from California (another brilliant segue). When he tried to corner her with a question about gay marriage, she shockingly(?) revealed she was against it. Oops ... She was honest in the face of a question obviously intended to get one answer, and not the one she gave. Agree or disagree, give her credit for standing by her ideological/religious beliefs. Also, Perez (not his real name) is a putz of the highest order.

Perkins: No matter what came out of Miss California’s mouth — the pop culture pundits would have had something to say. Everyone was expecting a nicely crafted, PC, pageant answer. I give her props for her bold answer, but she’s from California. Aren’t people out there liberal, open-minded and peaceful? She probably expected a question about world peace or charity work. At least she didn’t stumble down the stairs or have verbal diarrhea like beauty queens in years past. It’s 2009 and it’s just too easy to poke fun. Care to take a jab at Zac (no k) Efron?

Meo: Set aside Ms. Cali’s “in my country” bit ... we’re all in the United States, young lady ... and yes, high marks for honesty. Not so much for her complaining that’s why she lost. Efron’s the poor man’s Justin Timberlake. That’s what he’s going for, or all he’ll achieve, anyway. Culture Clash has a long-standing tradition of JT love, so by default, I’m hating on Efron. He had an acceptable turn on SNL a few weeks ago, but he’ll fade, I’m sure. The tweens will lose interest and the adults, who’ve likely already given a collective shrug, will look elsewhere for their amusement. Especially if he chooses to co-star with Matthew Perry in young-again rehash flicks or similar detritus.

Perkins: Efron does a mean Cody Gifford and I give him props for his “High School Musical” spoof in which he declared people don’t sing in the real world. (though we all know I wish they would). The planets certainly are not aligned when this messy-haired, triple-threat kid beats out box office veterans Ben Affleck and Russell Crowe. He can’t declare he doesn’t want to be typcasted, do the 10th remake of “Freaky Friday,” but drop out of “Footloose.” I don’t think he has tremendous staying power either, just like those Jonas Brothers. JT is a maverick. Still, I’m not a fan of either heart-throb. Final thoughts?

Meo: In the words of JT as Robin Gibb, “No, no I don’t.”

Emily Perkins is news assistant at the Norwich Bulletin. She has the pageant wave down pat. John Meo is design editor at the Norwich Bulletin. He watches “The Early Show” four mornings each week, and loathes every minute of it.