Culture Clash: King of Pop gear can be had for cheap ... tickets, not so much

April 8 Norwich Bulletin

Meo: About 20 years ago, I wanted a red leather jacket. My mom said “no,” and probably used some tired old line like, “I’m not paying for that,” or “You’ll look ridiculous in that.” In hindsight, it was one of her better foot-down moments. But with MJ going back on tour, maybe it’s time to score one on my own. Take that mom! I’m 31. I’m a man!

Perkins: These tough economic times have even gotten the best of the King of Pop. Jackson is auctioning off 2,000 of his most-prized worldly possessions from his now-abandoned Neverland Ranch. I don’t know what’s a better buy: the bedazzled white glove or the oil-on-canvas painting of Jackson dressed as a Renaissance king. Mom never sprung for that Bedazzler. I had big plans for it.

Meo: I think tough times crashed onto the king years ... decades ago. I suppose you could pity the guy for his lost childhood ... Blah blah blah ... But the guy’s brought heat on himself in so many ways. But set aside his legal battles. What exactly should an audience expect from him? Considering how he painfully limped into a courthouse ... in his pajamas, will he be able to moonwalk? To kick and spin, grab himself, go to the toes and screeeeeeeeeeeam? Shamon, Perkins! SHAMON!! I say, no. When he was healthy, he lit himself on fire dancing for a commercial. Bad things are coming from this tour. Bad things.

Perkins: Old school MJ was the man. And like so many others, he gained moderate success overseas to sustain his fame. If people will flock to see the Spice Girls and New Kids on the Block comeback tours, they will definitely come out for Michael Jackson. Plus, comebacks are the new breakdowns — people love them.

Meo: I have more respect for the aging acts that never went away, and that’s not saying much (see early Culture Clash). The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Metallica ... At least those bands stayed around, however questionable or watered-down their material and shows became. But the ones that go away, go away for good reason ... one-hit wonders, niche/genre bands that sparkle and fade, just freaks and weirdos. Yeah, people pay, but they pay for the things they remember from 20 years ago. They ain’t gettin’ that.

Perkins: Fair enough. But it’s the only thing the guy has done his whole life. What other choice does he have? Carnie, Peter Pan understudy, sun screen spokesmodel? I think not. Plus, just in time for tax rebate season, you can sport your red leather jacket to an MJ concert near you. The auction begins April 22.

Meo: If only Obama had factored this into the $700 billion stimulus thingy. $50 million for Michael Jackson repopification. Now that’s money well spent.

John Meo is design editor at the Norwich Bulletin. He doesn’t have tickets for New Kids on the Block. Yet. Emily Perkins is editorial assistant at the Norwich Bulletin. She beat John to the punch on “these tough economic times.”